Sunday, January 17, 2016

10 signs that you are a victim of your Fitness goals

In case you see 2 or more of these symptoms in yourself, you are victim of fitness!
      1.       Relentless pursuit of looking good
      2.       Training like a professional champion
      3.       Following every fitness fad
      4.       Believing all that you read, hear or see
      5.       Impractical & unsustainable diet
      6.       You believe ‘More Pain is More Gain’
      7.       You  want to reverse the clock
      8.       You are a boring mono-maniac
      9.       You prefer gym than time with spouse, kids and friends
     10.    You judge others by their appearance 

...................... 10 Signs in detail ……………………………………
    1.       Relentless pursuit of looking good
a.       You can’t pass a mirror without stopping to check yourself in 180* if you are a man or 360* if you are a woman.
b.      You think film stars, beauty pageant participants, body builders are the ideal human specimens and anything less is sub-human
c.       You actually believe six-pack or size zero is sustainable
d.      Last year you posted 436 selfies on fb. The fact that 436 friends un-followed you is just a coincidence.

    2.       Training like a professional champion
a.       Your fitness goals will make Arnold Schwarzenegger raise eyebrows, even though your job is Bank Cashier. 
b.      Running 100 kms or cycling 300 kms a week or 50 pushups in one go is your ideal FB post
c.       But when friends ask you “Why you are training like a maniac?” you can just mumble like “It feels good
Cartoonist Randy Glasbergen is brilliant! 


    3.       Following every fitness fad
a.       2012 was aerobics, 2013 you were into gym, 2014 zumba dance, 2015 marathon and 2016 is cycling
b.      2012 was Noni juice, 2013 was protein shakes, 2014 aloe-vera year, 2015 was paleo diet and 2016 is vegan year
    4.       Believing all that you read, hear or see
a.       Your professional advise comes from Men’s Health, Glamour, Cosmopolitan and GQ
b.      You have folders with sub-folders named like ‘Flat tummy’ ‘Tight butt’ ‘Firm boobs’ “Hair transplant’ ‘Joint replacement’ and ‘Tantric Sex”
c.       You revere Kaila Itsines, Bob Harper, Tara Stiles and of course Khloe Kardashian
    5.       Impractical & unsustainable diet
a.       You eat organic veg. salad for lunch. When your colleague opens his chicken biryani your tongue drips like a dog on a warm day. 
b.      You are always hungry and irritable
c.       You munch through 15 bland boiled-eggs-without-yellow, sitting alone in the gym changing room and staring vacantly
d.      People around wrinkle their nose when you sweat
e.      Passing motion is tougher for you than for BJP in Rajya Sabha

    6.       You believe ‘More Pain is More Gain’
a.       Every time you move you grimace
b.      Your physiotherapist is on monthly retainer
c.       Your freezer always has a cold-pack ready
d.      You recall occasions like “Yeah, I remember your wedding. My ankles were swollen that day.’


    7.       You  want to reverse the clock
a.       You jump like you touched a mouse, when you detect one Grey hair
b.      You know the names of centenarians in Okinawa island
c.       40 is the number you hate
d.      You go blue in the face when posing for photographs
e.      Words like ‘Sag’ ‘Droop’ are no longer in your vocabulary
f.        You are still irritated after 3 hours because that girl called you Uncle!” or ‘Aunty’
OLD SUPERMAN BY  Andres Denkberg

    8.       You are a boring mono-maniac
a.       An ideal date is when both of you go through the pie-chart of kilometres you ran last year with calories burnt on every run
b.      Your Instagram is exclusively to keep the world updated on what you are eating at that moment
c.       Colleagues avoid you during lunch hour. Your family avoids you always.
d.      Even while making love, you are wondering how you look in that position
    9.       You prefer gym than time with spouse, kids and friends
a.       You are no longer in the invite list of anyone outside your gym or club
b.      The only outside event you love to attend is the alumni meet, since everyone will croon how young and fit you look
c.       You tip more in the gym than the pocket money to your kids
d.      On a gym holiday you feel weak and sloppy like an used condom

    10.   You judge others by their appearance
a.       You don’t acknowledge the existence of people who have a chubby tummy
b.      Your are keenly aware of the brand of T-shirt, Tracks, watch, phone, shoes and deodorant of those around you
c.       Those in your universe are divided in 3 categories – Fitter than me, Not as fit as I am and Others
d.      You assume looks with character, and pay the price for that assumption.

Related posts - When Stupidity catches up with Ignorance, its training burnout

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S.SREERAM
KravMaga TamilNadu, Chennai
Mobile: 93400 06600
kravmaga.chennai@gmail.com
 www.kravmagatamilnadu.com
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