The Tao of Fraud – or “How to find out if the martial-arts instructor is a martial-fart”


"Sensei, Sifu, Shihan, International Grand-Master, Shaolin monk, Guru , Aasaan"
 In Chennai roads I find posters in every wall or boards on each lamp post advertising these characters. They are in various funny poses and wear exotic uniforms. Most of them try to look intimidating with stern expressions or a feline snarl.
Is this plethora of loud and vulgar communication an indication of a big market of gullible youngsters! Probably it’s the lure of easy money to be made in a field, which has no defined standards of delivery or measurable criteria for 'experts'.
"YOU KEEEL MY MASTER!  NOW, I KEEL YOU"
That’s an earful of management jargon. Let’s ask in plain English…
"Why do people pay money to gurus who blatantly promise fantastic results?!"
It’s nothing but the basic greed of the majority which always asks “HOW TO GET MORE THAN I DESERVE.”  It’s not only in earnings but in every department of life people dream of results which are disproportionate to effort put in; including martial-arts.

Now that the motives of the audience is established let’s see how the frauds manipulate the aspirant. The following are some of the common signs that “The Master” you are talking to is a fraud.

Fraud alerts!

·         KravMaga? Yes. BJJ? Ofcourse. MMA? No issues. Archery? He is the Olympics team coach.
He claims expertise in multiple arts and assures you he can teach whatever you want.
·         He claims he holds 10th Dan Black-belt from a non-verifiable style, which is practiced only in a small island between Okinawa and Korea, by zen hermits.
·         Even more ridiculous is, he claims he has formed his own style à la Bruce Lee’s Jeet-Kune-Dho
·         He recounts various fights where he has kicked multiple-asses and treats you to graphic descriptions.
·         He whispers in your ears, that he is the coach of NSG’s secret black-ops commando force.
·         The master is wearing red-colour satin top with an embroidered dragon and loose pajamas with a stripe running along each leg, like a music-band master.
·         The dojo’s interior is like a Japanese geisha house and there are Shodo calligraphy scrolls hanging on the wall.
·         I am not exaggerating. In our own Chennai there is a poster-master, who used to have 2 guys with nunchaakus standing on an arch in the entrance of his ‘High Command”
·         The master is a physical wreck and is unable to even bend down and touch his own toes.
That was due to injuries he sustained in combat, when he was hit from behind with a poisoned dart.
·         The master has total control over his Chi or Ki energy; and he can draw back his sperm like a vacuum cleaner.
·         He is in the know of Noku-Varmam, enabling him to look at the enemy in his eyes and chant a secret 2 liner which will result in the enemy to vomit blood and die after the next new-moon.
WTF !!
·         He holds the record for sleeping with poisonous snakes or head-butting iron nails into wooden boards .
·         You notice chubby 15 year old black belts taking classes, while the master is hard-selling to you.
·          You get evasive replies or intimidating looks if you ask about his association or if you want to see his qualifications. His credibility is unquestionable.
·         He tries to sell you a “Black-belt in 3 months” course
·         Even better, he can put you on the fast-track if you are ready to pay a premium
·         You have to pay a registration fee, buy uniform and pay 6 months in advance.
Later you have to pay the coach for grading you, apart from coughing up separately for the belt and for the certificate. This of course won’t be revealed to you when you join.
·         In extreme cases you may be demanded to make a cut on your finger and sign your life-long loyalty with your bloodied thumb-print. Just like Cosa Nostra.

I wonder how these pretenders manage to hoodwink the eager aspirants, even in this information age. Then I think of the flourishing careers of god men, astrologers and charlatans. I recently read somewhere the asset value of Ranjitha fame ‘Swami’ Nithyanandha may be around 1000 Crores! 
Hmm.. So who is smart?! What am I missing here?
.....................................................................................................................
S.SREERAM
Instructor, Chennai Chapter, Krav Maga (IKMF) India
Mobile: 93400 06600
Email-  kravmaga.chennai@gmail.com
Chennai Site - https://sites.google.com/site/kravmagachennai/
...........................................................................
"So that one may walk in peace" ... Imi Lichtenfeld, Founder of KravMaga

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Comments

  1. Very well said. This is becoming easy money business and trap for many aspirants.

    ReplyDelete
  2. very well said these kind of places to be mushrooming a lot these days and a lot of gullible parents seem to fall prey to them

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sree...had a real hearty laugh after going through this...hats off to your audacious and bold post...wish it could be circulated...would have loved to see Hussaini's face after going through this:)

    Yup...have known him for quite sometime and it is sad how greed and economic compulsions make people forget the essence of the art which gave them their name and fame.
    It is very essential for all to know this along with the basic tenement of any art...Practice...Years of Practice & HUMILITY...Nothing else.

    Nice and very practical reads on your blogsite...Keep up the good work...God Bless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Appreciate your +ve vibes, Prashant!
      I have been getting lawyer notices and one guy who claims to teach martial-arts, gave a police complaint, after I analysed his technique.
      Of course, I understand that people get pissed off when criticized; but I still want to get across the message, that these half-baked gurus cannot get away with any claims, just because there is no entry criteria or the poor public is not very discerning.

      Delete
  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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